Saturday, May 2, 2009

Just Beachy...

For several reasons this weekend, I have experienced blog fog, so I will not try to engage in important or serious blogging while on vacation with my crazy family ever again.

As I reread Friday night's entry, it became clear to me that it was not exactly what I'd want to say about the passage, so I will edit it later when my head is clear and my brain is back in non-vacation mode--and maybe then I will also have reliable internet access.

I will, however, use the quiet of this morning to tell a little about the events of my trip with my mother and sisters so far. (They are all still sleeping and I have been awake reading, thinking and listening as the waves crash against the shore--one of my favorite sounds.)

This trip was arranged and orchestrated by Lisa and me as a birthday gift to ourselves (we all share birthdays within weeks of each other) but specifically to our middle sister Kathie. It's pretty sad to say that it's taken all these years for us to make a trip like this, but an eye opening trip it has been. I have learned things this weekend that I never knew, never imagined, and will never be quite the same as a result of. (Yes, I realize it's incorrect (technically) to end a sentence with a preposition, Steven, but it works for me!)

So, here are a few of the highlights so far. I will not blog again until I return to a place that is more conducive to serious contemplation--home, but for those wondering where my blog went, this may explain...

I decided before leaving Charlotte that this trip would somehow be less than it could be without a really good practical joke, so I came up with a last minute idea that worked wonderfully. I copied the North Myrtle Beach logo from a website and wrote a bulletin from the Horry County Department of Health and Public Safety that warned of four dangerous and endangered species of spiders that had been displaced as a result of the recent devastating wildfires. (Here are the spiders I listed):

Acanthogonatus francki: the Bronze Tiger Rump
Acanthoscurria geniculata: Giant White Knee
Ephebopus cyanoganathus: Blue Fang
and the
Acanthoscurria natalensis: Brown Bird Eater

The notice instructed anyone who saw one of these spiders (I included a small picture of each one at the bottom of the bulletin) not to kill it, but to dial 311 immediately so that an Animal Control officer could be dispatched to capture it.

I placed the notice under the door of our condominium as if it had been left overnight, and that is when the fun began. All day long, my sisters (who were understandably a little freaked out when they saw the spider photos) looked for spiders. Their reactions were better than I could ever have hoped, and the conversations and quotes that came out of their mouths can only be described as classic.

My idea was initially generated by a gag gift I'd purchased for David last year. He hates spiders. Loathes them. So naturally when I saw a giant remote controlled tarantula at Target, I bought it for him--and of course, it came to the beach with me.

I will mention here that I let my mother in on my plan so that the sighting of the ginormous arachnid would not cause her to suffer a heart attack.

Kathie and Lisa took a stroll down the beach yesterday morning, and when they returned, they mentioned to mom and me that they thought for a moment that they'd spotted a big brown bird eater (or something like that).

Mom and I searched for the perfect hiding place for the tarantula and decided that the already slightly opened case of water was our spot. I placed "Tara" in the case and waited--and my only regret is that I do not have video footage of the ensuing chain of events.

Last night, as we were preparing to eat a bite of supper before heading out to see a show, Lisa stuck her hand in the water bottle package to put more bottles in the refrigerator. I am now no longer actually considered her sister--but I am considered other things that I will not mention in this blog. But, it was worth it. I do not think I've ever laughed so hard in my entire life at the remarks, comments, and reactions that transpired as a result of their realization that the whole scheme was a prank. This is one for the family (or ex-family) history books.

After the spider incident, we went to a show called "Good Vibrations" that was a flashback musical trip down memory lane featuring some exceptionally talented artists who sang and danced their way through the big hits and genres of the 60's, 70's, and 80's. More entertaining than the show, however, were my two sisters. Being the oldest, I apparently missed A LOT having gotten married and moved away before their teenaged years drew to a close. I will simply state that these two 'girls' are more fun to watch than any stage show. When the KISS impersonators came onstage singing, "Rock and Roll All Night" I wasn't sure who these girls were.

Okay, I'm going to stop now before they kick me out early and send me packing. I don't think I can do much more harm though, but making this public might get me taken out of their wills as possible guardian of their children should they meet an untimely demise--and since I really do love their kids, I'm going to try to find a way to make it all up to them today.

So, I'll be back later (Lord willing) and continue the Bible blog--I just can't do it while I'm with my sisters at the beach.



  1. Hilarious! I was wondering how it went. You definitely should have had a video camera going! Thanks for the laugh amid boxing up our garage, throwing out clutter and putting stuff on craigslist!

  2. Doesn't everyone wish Heather would stop talking about packing up and moving out! Everywhere I look -- facebook, blogs, etc. -- there is a reminder! I know you're excited, Heather, but for the rest of us who are not, it's just plain torture ;)

    Just kidding... we are excited because you are excited!!!

    By the way... This is Leslie (obviously) and I don't feel like going to the trouble of logging out and signing back in as myself :)

  3. You might want to write on the sweet pay back that your sisters pulled off! Let's celebrate memories, fun, and family more often!

  4. Wow! You are good! Hope they will forgive you! Enjoy your time.

  5. OK Leslie ... I hear you! :) At least you will have a free place to stay when you visit Mickey and Minnie :)